Skip to content
★PRINTED TO ORDER — NOTHING SITS IN A WAREHOUSE★
SCHMUCKSSCHMUCKS

The Shelves

Terms & Conditions

Everything you agreed to without reading. Now printed large enough to be legally noticed.

35 items of questionable judgment
I Drink Like I'm Being Filmed For A Warning

I Drink Like I'm Being Filmed For A Warning

N°. 348
$42.00
Enter At Your Own Risk (My DMs)

Enter At Your Own Risk (My DMs)

N°. 320
$42.00
Not FDA Approved

Not FDA Approved

N°. 319
$42.00
Side Effects Include Me

Side Effects Include Me

N°. 318
$42.00
Batteries Not Included (Neither Is Effort)

Batteries Not Included (Neither Is Effort)

N°. 317
$42.00
For External Use Only

For External Use Only

N°. 316
$42.00
Keep Out Of Reach Of Exes

Keep Out Of Reach Of Exes

N°. 315
$42.00
No Lifeguard On Duty

No Lifeguard On Duty

N°. 314
$42.00
Warning: Choking Hazard (Emotionally)

Warning: Choking Hazard (Emotionally)

N°. 313
$42.00
Objects In Shirt Are Less Impressive Than They Appear

Objects In Shirt Are Less Impressive Than They Appear

N°. 312
$42.00
May Contain Traces Of Regret

May Contain Traces Of Regret

N°. 310
$42.00
Do Not Feed After Midnight (Or Ever)

Do Not Feed After Midnight (Or Ever)

N°. 309
$42.00
Notice: Currently Between Excuses

Notice: Currently Between Excuses

N°. 308
$42.00
Caution: Says Wild Shit When Nervous

Caution: Says Wild Shit When Nervous

N°. 307
$42.00
Warning: Falls In Love In 2–4 Business Days

Warning: Falls In Love In 2–4 Business Days

N°. 306
$42.00
This Is Not A Drill

This Is Not A Drill

N°. 118
$42.00
Choking Hazard

Choking Hazard

N°. 117
$42.00
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING. PLEASE DON'T COME AGAIN.

THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING. PLEASE DON'T COME AGAIN.

N°. 040
$42.00
THIS SIDE UP (WORN UPSIDE DOWN)

THIS SIDE UP (WORN UPSIDE DOWN)

N°. 034
$42.00
AISLE 9: REGRET · SNACKS · POOR DECISIONS

AISLE 9: REGRET · SNACKS · POOR DECISIONS

N°. 033
$42.00
CLEARANCE: EVERYTHING MUST STOP

CLEARANCE: EVERYTHING MUST STOP

N°. 032
$42.00
SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED (THERAPY)

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED (THERAPY)

N°. 031
$42.00
FRAGILE: HANDLE NEVER

FRAGILE: HANDLE NEVER

N°. 030
$42.00
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA (IT'S ME)

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA (IT'S ME)

N°. 029
$42.00
Load more